Celtics legend Larry Bird has decided he will make a comeback at age 54 in order to keep pace with Dirk Nowitzki on the NBA’s all-time scoring list and have a shot to match Magic Johnson’s five titles.
Nowitzki passed Bird on December 21, 2010 and is currently leading the Celtics star by just 20 career points after sitting out the last six games due to injury. After congratulating Nowitzki via phone when the Mavs star hit the milestone Bird apparently had a change of heart and wants to keep up with Dirk while potentially adding to his three championships.
Contract details are not available at this time but sources have confirmed that the Celtics are likely to use their mid-level exception. It is still unclear who will take over as President of the Indiana Pacers when Bird resumes his career this month.
Bird did not expect immediate playing time but with Kevin Garnett still out coach Doc Rivers feels the time is right to throw Bird into the fire. Coach Rivers expects Bird in the lineup by January 14th for their game against the Bobcats.
“Larry hasn’t kept himself in the best of shape but we’re going to take a chance and bring him off the bench in relief of “Big Baby”. We’re confident that Larry hasn’t forgotten how to play the game and hope that by tossing him out there he’ll get in shape real quick.”
“And,” coach Rivers added, “That shooting stroke is still sweet.”
Rivers indicated that the team will hire a special assistant personal trainer to work with Bird on his nutritional choices and cardiovascular/strength training. Sources have learned that the former Celtics great hasn’t lifted weights with any regularity since 1990 so it is necessary for Boston to deliver personalized attention to him. Rumor has it that former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is Rivers top choice to train Bird and discussions are ongoing with the Celtics and Hasselhoff’s agent.
“David is difficult to get in touch with,” Celtics GM Danny Ainge told reporters, “He’s always running on the beach.”
Bird joins a group of future Hall of Famers including Shaquille O’Neal, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce in one of the most star-studded lineups of all-time.
Kevin Garnett stated that he, “will be honored to play beside the Celtics legend,” and will “head to the bench if it means the team has a better shot at the title.”
Bird looks to add to his career-marks of 21,791 points, 8,974 assists and 5,695 rebounds and wants to equal Magic Johnson’s five championships before he’s through.
“I can’t let Magic beat me,” Bird declared, “It’s been bothering me for the past nineteen years.”
The last time Bird suited up for Boston was on May 17, 1992 in a Game 4 loss to the Cleveland Cavaliers. He scored just 12 points as Cleveland eliminated the Celtics in what many figured would be Bird’s final game.
“That last game left a bitter taste in my mouth,” Bird told media outlets yesterday, “Besides,” he added, “I can’t wait to show Dirk how it’s done. The first time we play them I’m going to launch one right in front of the Mavs bench with Dirk in my face. Then we’ll see who’s better than who.”
It’s great to see that Bird hasn’t lost his trash-talking ability after all these years.
Boston visits Dallas on February 4th in what now promises to be a legendary duel between past and present stars.
Buy your tickets before they’re gone, ladies and gentlemen.
**UPDATE 1/8/11: **Former Baywatch star and “DWTS” participant David Hasselhoff has been hired by the Celtics as Bird’s personal trainer for this season. “David has been a fitness guru and fantastic actor for many years and we’re proud to have him on our staff assisting Larry.” coach Rivers exclaimed. “He already has Bird running laps while holding a lifeguard canister for coordination.” Rivers did make it clear to Hasselhoff that no singing would be allowed. “We told him the 1980s have come and gone and he shouldn’t be pulling any dancing moves around the team either.”
“He also has to keep his shirt on. No exceptions.” Rivers deadpanned.
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