After seven years of squabble, the Ole Miss Rebels are rebellious no more. Oh, they still will be the Ole Miss Rebels, but one of the most unique mascots in the nation, Colonel Reb, is a thing of the past. After a long wait, his shoes have finally been filled. The University of Mississippi cowed to the special interest and political correctness- the exact opposite of what a “rebel” should do. The University of Mississippi did not stand their ground. They did not rebel against the man. Instead, they allowed themselves to be pushed into a corner and hit with the liberal stick. Maybe they haven’t noticed the country moving to the right in the last two years.
Still, the administration at Ole Miss was bullied into coming up with a new mascot to roam the sidelines for the Rebels. Colonel Reb, the old man with a long beard and mustache who has to prop himself up on a cane, was just too darn offensive and divisive. Their choices were about as loveable, politically correct, and fearless as you could imagine. The choices were Hotty Toddy, some sort of creature that nobody seems to be able to explain. Obviously, Ole Miss could not choose this option because it encourages underage drinking on campus. They would have to answer to M.A.D.D. Another popular choice was the Landshark Rebel. This of course sparks discussions about illegal immigration as some might wonder if the shark was documented properly to work on the solid soil of Mississippi and other SEC locales. Both options were just too politically damning for the university.
By process of elimination, this left Rebel Black Bear. Of course, the Black Bear is not really indigenous to the state of Mississippi, but it is a safe pick politically. (Two thumbs for you Ole Miss!) While a bear mascot is fairly mundane, it has proven to not draw the ire of liberal hacks. Of course, with Ole Miss getting spanked by the likes of Jacksonville State and Vanderbilt at home, one might wonder if PETA will request a name change for the inevitable abuse that will befall the bears.
Of course, the choice makes someone wonder, what exactly is rebellious about a bear? Will Rebel Black Bear steal people’s pic-a-nic baskets? Will it help start forest fires instead of trying to prevent them? Will it do the Super Bowl Shuffle despite their inability to ever have won the SEC West (and don’t appear to be doing so anytime soon)?
The official story is that this mascot is extremely Mississippian because William Faulkner, a Mississippi native, wrote a story called “The Bear.” This, however, could have led to much more interesting and thought provoking mascots. Going the “Faulkner route” could have been a lot of fun. Faulkner also wrote pieces such as “The Cobbler.” How interesting would it be to have a shoemaker as your mascot? That is certainly unique. Also, Faulkner penned the classic, “The Old People.” They could have had….oh, wait- they already got rid of Colonel Reb.
I suppose with the introduction of this rather fun-loving and cuddly mascot, the most interesting thing in Oxford on gameday will be middle class white folks pretending to be high class in The Grove.
Some things never change.
